The Rules of the Game

As a woman there a certain silent rules that were set long before our time, rules that we grew up following, believing in them because we had learned them from our mentors. Such as if you wear eyeliner on the bottom lid, you must therefore wear it on the top, but not necessarily visa-versa. White pants after labor day is a fashion don't (unless you on vacation in tropical climate), and a personal favorite (as well as one I've broken many times) don't confess your feelings to the your best friend whom you have secret (not so secret) feelings for.
Whether it was a friend or not there has been someone we were hopeless for, am I right? And in this confusing almost torturous process of analyzing every word said and movement made, we decide we will take manners into our own hands. We think of witty, coy, sexy things to say beforehand, we plan outfits, hair styles, the perfect locations to hang out. We think of what we could do or say to make them fall hopelessly for us. Because what man wouldn't want a fun-loving, woman a fresh blowout after a deep conditioning treatment, rocking a new pair of dark denim skinny jeans? Let me answer this question for you...MANY!
I am guilty of this. I am guilty of saying the things you shouldn't say, doing the things you shouldn't do, breaking all these rules. Thinking all along that if I had taken this huge risk, I would be the lucky winner at the end. Well tadaaaa, someone made up these rules because they tried them, they didn't work, their heart was broken and they wanted to spare anyone they could from this kind of pain. The ironic part of my version is that I actually paid for it. Yes, I literally paid to have my heart broken. I flew up to visit my friend "Edward" (well call him that for fun), who was going to school up north. I prepared for this weekend like you wouldn't believe. There was also a special formal event, and I was beyond prepared for that as well, convinced it would be the weekend everything would change. I was wrong, I had my heart crushed around 3 am the last night I was there in the study room of the guys dorm. I didn't even get to say a fraction of what I wanted, but I knew it didn't matter at the time, although I still wonder once in a while the dreaded "What if?" Because if you come down with a case of the "What ifs?" they can intoxicate you can cause you to do damage. Hence my trip up north, hundreds of dollars spent, once broken heart, a canceled flight because of snow storm, an extra mortifying night stuck there, and a week worth of nausea because of my stupidity...I did loose three pounds from not eating though, but gained back four when I got over myself.
It's just like that black and pink book that we've secretly peeked through at the bookstore, the movie we've seen with Justin Long (yum, idky he's not my type but I love him), hoping we were the exception to the rule...But life isn't a movie, and it isn't a novel, and it won't always turn out the way we imagine as we rest our heads to sleep at night. He's Just Not That Into Us. I don't know why but it happens. I mean think about it. Haven't you had someone interested in you with whom you just didn't see that way? Well unfortunately we are sometimes that person to someone else. The sooner we can realize it, the better. We read all these articles in Cosmo, and Glamour, telling us we are our own woman, we should be bold and make the first move. The truth is the man is used to making this move, it's in their instincts, and if a guy doesn't make the move, doesn't ask for our number this is positive. It's a silent way of saying he's not interested or hes unsure. In this way we are silently protected. We don't have to doubt ourselves and sometimes it's really as simple as he's just not that into you. And that could be a good thing...Cause truth is, if he's not that into you, what's so great about him?